Right now I’m busy like hell with studying and trying to go down in weight, although I almost have no readers, this will be good for myself to one day read back at and understand what I went through and how I felt.
So right now I’m trying really hard to go down in weight. I can already see some changes as my jeans get a little bit loosen (Agh! New clothes = good bye money).
My best inspiration is usually by reading about somebody who have done something great and how he worked hard to achieve it. That stuff motivates me and probably most of the people. But a new discovery I made is that what really motivates me, is by thinking about the future. What kind of life will i lead? What kind of girl (or girls) will I meet? What kind of self-esteem will I end up having? This is what a lot of you would call daydreaming, but I wouldn’t call it bad. It makes me focus on stuff that’s important, so that when I’m running, I’m keeping that in mind. That the possibilities opens up for every step I take, for every squat I make, for every push-up I do, it will all NOT be for nothing.
It sounds like a weird goal for most people I guess, but after faced the highest risk I’ve ever had dying. I think maybe it might be normal, that you want to do these small things for yourself more than someone else that might be stuck. In one way, this sickness might have been the best and worst thing that have ever happened in my life, weird huh?
Anyway I weighted in at 80.9 kg this morning , around 15 hours ago. Fight on!