lvlupirl

Time to level up in real life!

Month: July, 2012

No turning back…

As I’m sitting here lonely at night, thinking constantly of what life might have been. All the alternative universe that could have happen. All the good things that could have happened but never did. Some of em was nothing I could do about, but many of them were my own fault I guess. So as things didn’t go as I wanted, as well as I’m not sure if I wanted it to go as I wanted with the girl I was interested in. Interest fades away and logic applies that this is not the best for me. She’s a great friend, cheerful and happy person, but unfortunately too weird. Would it ever work? My conclusion is no, fold your cards boy and look for something else. There’s always something else waiting. Just gotta forget her, although it kinda hurts a little it’s still ok. It’s just chemical feelings inside our bodies that makes us fall in love. And that shouldn’t be a problem to get rid off, I have done it so many times before…


Now… What do I mean by “no turning back”? Well basically I finally found my goal in life probably. And I’m gonna spill my plans here. If it’s succeeded it would be fun to see that everything for once went as planned. By putting this out here puts a lot of pressure on me as well, as I don’t want this to turn to a bunch of hot air. The university that I’m studying at the moment is great, it’s one of the best and probably top university in my country. However on a world scale it’s somewhere between Top 200 university in the world. I also dream of getting into a university with higher international standings and there is one dream that still lives on, Toudai. As a geek I know about this university, but Tokyo University is one of the best university Japan has to offer and is a top 40 university. I would love to study there next year, but to do that I have to graduate. So my project is a dogs year. This is a stand now for all my failures, to finally succeed in what I want and strike through this year with a close to 200% speed rate in university studies. This means no life at all, to gain a better life in the future. I have recommendations letter waiting for me to be collected, and if I can do that, it would just be amazing. I would of course send my appliance to all major university, but my dream university is Toudai, it would even be hard for me too chose if I had to choose between an Ivey-league university and Toudai (Not that I would ever get in into an Ivey-league university). So there you have it, no turning back, full blast to assure my future, and doing what I want! Again things might get tough, but I’ll read this post again and again to encourage myself to keep on going….

Good bye and so long

Lot of time has passed since I blogged, so here’s an small update.

I’ve been better lately apparently it isn’t my hormones that is imbalanced. Although I’m gonna need to get the data myself to check as here in our country they say that I am within reasonable values, but I might be off the charts in other countries. My other thoughts is that is time to go private hospital on my other problems as they community hospital is way too slow and competence seems to be low. ┬áPolitical wise I guess you have to go totally socialistic with the care or almost totally private.

The girl I liked seems to be a lost cause, she’s still a good friend but my feelings for her are all gone. She was too different for me, but I have now seenher real side. It’s not bad just because she’s different. So I hope she finds a better suited guy in the future. As for myself I hope I find another person in the future, time will tell. But I am not ready to commit into something as serious as a relatonship before I fix my own problems. One step at a time, on to one direction. Finally might have understood the importance of a realistic goal, as you need to reap the fruits once in a while.